Relapse Redefined

When looking at the statistics of recovery and relapse, the numbers can really play a big part of your state of mind during recovery. I remember when I was still just around six months sober before I'd made the decision to blog about my own journey, I read a blog someone had written about relapse …

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Sleeping in Sobriety

A lot of people drink with the guise that it helps them sleep. FALSE   Well sure, it helps you fall asleep faster, this doesn't necessarily mean a restful or good night sleep for you. If you need all natural tips for how to fall asleep faster, there is a great blog here by January …

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One Day Can Change Your Life

7,000 teenage kids at and around the age of 16 are taking their very first drink today. 7,000 teens yesterday. 7,000 teens today. 7,000 teens tomorrow. And every year, 4,700 teens under 17 die due to alcohol use. Roughly 1,700 kids between the ages of 17 and 21 die every year due to accessive drinking. …

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My Cirrhosis Is Not Your Litmus Test

This is really becoming one of my biggest fears, where people reach out to me and ask my symptoms for liver failure. It's not that I dislike talking about it, or that I'm ashamed. Actually, it's quite the opposite. It seems most people reach out to inquire about my symptoms, so that they may self-diagnose …

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Does Legal Mean Less Deadly?

For years, I've heard the age-old battle, 'it's legal so it must not be that much of a problem.' As if the government would swoop in and take all alcohol off the shelf specifically for our well being? Well, if they won't do it for cigarettes and what we know about the effects they cause, …

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Healthy Habit Building

Recovery from addiction is not entirely about building a life free from chemical dependency, but it also deals a great lot in building new healthy habits. The newest of mine is reading. Sometimes I feel like a Burgess Meredith character in the Twilight Zone just trying to steal a few more minutes of time -a …

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Being Beautiful Begins Inside

I've had somewhat of an epiphany recently, as I stumbled across the origin of the word 'ugly'.  Really, it was someone really close to me that spurred the entire chain of events. When they approached me, phone in hand, ready to start making fun of someone on F acebook with whom we are mutual friends. …

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My 18 Months Sober and The Biggest Gift It Came With

Well, #soberoctober has come to a close, and hopefully, you all made it through relatively unscathed. For me, it was a month of both struggles and rewards; both in dramatic extremes. When I was diagnosed with cirrhosis, it was at such a stage that doctors were not even considering that I might live past 90 …

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Another AA Alternative

There are people, very often former addicts themselves, who want nothing more than to help others achieve and maintain sobriety. Very closely related to sponsors, although typically a sponsor will only work within and around the 12 step program. Just a the name suggests, these people will coach you through the parts of your sobriety …

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Taking Therapy Seriously

A few years ago, if someone would have suggested therapy to me it would have sent me into a drunken tailspin of shame and feeling like a failure. -My how much has changed in just a few years! To most people my age and older, being in therapy suggests there is something the matter with …

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Not Your Typical 12 Steps To Recovery

For the longest time, people have assimilated 'quitting drinking' and 'AA' quite closely. In fact, until I got sober, I had no real clue that there were other ways to get sober that didn't involve the 12 step program. For some people, it's just not what our recovery requires. There are types of sobriety programs, …

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My Recovery Without AA

When you go through recovery, a lot of people think of the typical AA meetings, having sponsors, and the 12 steps; but that is far from the only way to recover. Take it from me; at 18 months sober as of yesterday, October 20th . The only AA meetings I've been to /were way before …

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Prohibition: Were They Onto Something?

We all know about the term Prohibition and the government's attempt to legalize the sale and production of alcohol. I've contemplated the success of this quite often throughout my recovery journey, so I decided to do some research. Now, I'm not advocating we start prohibiting the sale of alcohol entirely, because that would be the …

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The Social Debt Game

If you follow me on Instagram, you saw my recent post about a thing I referred to as "Social Debt". Social debt is the term (I have assigned) to describe the feeling like you owe people. apologies for your decisions explanations for your choices reasons for your actions excuses for your feelings You don't! Just …

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2018 Recovery Fest

Perhaps you missed it because quite frankly, I did, but Seattle based rapper Mackelmore most certainly did not as he headlined for the first ever Recovery Fest, September 29, 2018. Last week in Rhode Island, while the rest of us were still jaw-dropping at the arrival of pumpkin spice, Above the Noise (a non-profit that …

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Are You Resting or Resetting?

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night stressed, or possibly even upset about things you might not have control over? In these wee hours of the morning when you comfort yourself back to sleep, it is very crucial that your thoughts during this time are positive. I've practiced all the affirmations, …

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Keep Your Glass Full

Being a recovering alcoholic, this one was usually my number one rule. "Keep your glass full", or at least, "keep 'em coming" was my Modus Operandi; Gray Goose and make it strong. Now though, keeping my glass full simply means taking time to rejuvenate and recharge my own internal energy. At one point or another, …

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When The Music Stops…

Well, this round with celebrity overdose was especially jarring for Mac Miller fans and rap listeners around the globe; bringing to light the very real probability that, left untreated, addiction too, can and will kill you. -and before anyone starts in with that, "people die every day and no one bats an eye but one …

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Rethink How You Think About Recovery

Often, the term 'recovery' leads people to infer that you will one day return to your old self; same old normal you before all this mess began. Although, that's not really what it refers to. Instead of trying to get back to the normal you used to know, recovery is more about getting back to …

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Practice Makes Progress

It's very hard sometimes, to monitor our own progress because we acclimate to the change as it comes. Much like if you were to walk to the top of a high mountain, on your way up, your body would slowly adjust to the changes in elevation. You might not even have noticed your ears popped …

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Relearn And Refresh; Repeat As Needed

Life is nothing if not a constant learning process and to that end, some things get forgotten and fall by the wayside. So this post is going to be a quick refresher of things that sometimes get overlooked when we start to navigate our way through life. no explanations no excuses give yourself a break …

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No More Apologies For Being Me

Life is pretty crazy most days, and honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. There is a sort of newfound calm in my sobriety in the fact that I am completely self-aware. It started when scrolling through my IG feed and one post about self realization caught my eye. It actually paved the way …

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Liebster Award 2018

No, I'm not making things up this is an actual award, given by bloggers entirely over the internet to another blogger. The word Liebster itself gives much of the award it's value, as it's German translation is 'beloved'. So when I was nominated for such an award where fellow bloggers feel my work is deserving …

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Creating Yourself

Recently, I've been asked a lot about finding yourself in early recovery. Who am I without this addiction? What do I enjoy? How do I honestly feel? Before you know it you are lost in your own identity crisis, on shaky ground at best. It's easy to understand that you feel these things, and they …

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Your Peace of Mind is Non-negotiable

  One thing I wish someone would have taught me at a young age is that no one has the right to make you feel scared, hurt, or any sort of unrest. No one! If anything in this life costs you your peace of mind, the price is too high and it's ok to let …

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Chase Your Fears, Don’t Let Them Chase You

Thrill seekers and adrenaline-junkies may be onto something when it comes to chasing and tackling your fears. Obviously, I'm not going to advocate that you become a stuntman/woman. I'm not telling you to start living life on the edge and jump out of the next plane you are on, barrel ride over the Niagra or …

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Believing Becomes Achieving

I know that I have touched on positive affirmations and how to form them in one of my earlier blogs, Recalibrate Your Compass but I feel like I might have underplayed the important role they can play in everyday life. -It is especially crucial for people who are in a relapse cycle, new recovery journey …

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Addicted To The Escape

"Actually, I hated drinking; I loved the escape." When this statement fell out of my mouth this weekend, I was just as shocked at its bluntness as I was taken aback by the veracity of the statement. The truth is I have hated alcohol from an early age. I remember mistakingly grabbing a grown-up's drink …

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Demi’s Overdose Shakes The Recovery Community

Much like every other instance in life, we watch the celebrities face personal trials and triumphs and we collectively mourn or celebrate according. When these people are at the top of their game we are all on the sidelines rooting for them, and even more stunning, when they are down-and-out we collectively feel a loss. They open up a very personal part of their lives to us, and in return, we loyally show unwavering support and embrace them. Demi Lovato is one of these people.


Old Dog, New Tricks

So, as some of you may have noticed, I took an abrupt hiatus from blogging. No, it's not that I relapsed. It's just that, sometimes in life, things happen that require you to do some serious soul-searching. You need to figure yourself out, without the outside opinions of others and what they think is best …

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Refreshments, Anyone?

Well, here we are approaching another summer holiday and for some of you, I know it's officially crunch time. Summer parties send up triggers and temptation like landmines, and it seems impossible to walk through a minefield and never catch some shrapnel. My advice: STEER CLEAR OF "MOCKTAILS"!!! Even the word feels haughty to say! …

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Let The Fear Of Change Work In Your Favor

...Think about how many people had to eat oleander and die from it before people were like, "oh yeah, maybe we shouldn't eat those ones, or pick them really lets just leave those alone." Keep in mind, the technology at our fingertips now is but a "." on the very last page of human history. Being afraid of new things is...


Reflections Of The Past While Moving Forward

A sliver of light broke over the horizon as I poured myself into bed this morning; happy, clear-headed and completely sober.   I did it! I officially attended (and survived) my first typical adult party without consuming so much as a drop of alcohol. Sure, I have been out and about with friends who were …

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We Tried Brutal, Now Let’s Try Compassionate Honesty

Your recovery is directly dependant on your honesty and to some degree your ability to be vulnerable while still communicating effectively. This, for many people and for any number of reasons can be especially scary. Although, I don't have to fact check to tell you that being emotionally vulnerable won't kill you. Sure, it's uncomfortable …

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Find Your ‘Fix’ In Nature

In recovery a lot of people will ask, 'what was your key' or 'how did you stay sober' and I never really have an answer. Well, that's a lie, I have a ton of answers to those questions, but that's the issue. Explaining ALL that recovery is, to someone not in recovery looks a lot …

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Destructive Patterns: Why Is Our Own Behavior Our Biggest Enemy?

The human brain is phenomenal at recognizing patterns and anticipating outcomes. In fact, our ability to do this, is arguably what puts us at the top of the food chain. That being said, why can it be increasingly difficult to recognize and change our own self-destructive behavior? When you are a small child, in the …

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Regardless of what my next post was intended to be, in light of the recent news events I think it's only right we have the conversation no one want's to have; the talk about the "S" word. -No, not sex. No one has trouble talking about that anymore it's an open talk of discussion. No …

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Self-Worth, Juggling, And You

When you really start to map out all that you manage and deal with on a daily basis, it's actually kind of crazy. So when we start to feel run down, worn thin, and generally stretched to the max, why do WE feel like failures? Why do we so closely relate our self-worth in our ability to work ourselves to the bone with our job(s), parenthood, night school or whatever else you are trying to juggle? This gets amplified for addicts who are: still using, because they feel like they will never be able to overcome the pressure or in recovery who already feel a step behind the rest of the game because they are back at square one. When did our self worth depend on our ability to drown ourselves in responsibility until we are just treading water?


FOMO? No mo’!

Well, readers, it's Memorial Day weekend, so now is just as good as any to address the elephant in your recovery room; celebrations. Also how i overcame my FOMO - "...we talked about a lot on these drives...this day, in particular, might have saved my life...", and how to take your power back! -catch ya on the #soberside



Seriously, go outside! You might be surprised at all the things you find when you look around you, but sometimes it gets easy to overlook the littlest, sweetest things in life. Don't worry, you don't have to be any type of person to do or enjoy this. One of the biggest obstacles I have come …

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Who Says The Grass Is Always Greener…?

Growing up 20 miles south of the Grand Canyon was different, to say the least, but it taught me a lot about being grateful. Take for instance that it is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the country, with more than 7 million people visiting annually. The beauty of this natural wonder is …

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Don’t Wait For Rock Bottom

Recently I was asked a seriously thought-provoking question by a very close friend of mine. I’ve debated on the answer internally and tossed it around as a blog idea for weeks now. While I am sure there are valid points to each argument; I offer a slightly different middle ground of a solution. So the …

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Spilled Milk by K.L. Randis

If you like happy books where everything is sunshine and rainbows, then this is not the book for you. Spilled Milk is a bok of unimaginable heroism and unbelievable courage to stand up for what's right; even when you end up being one of the few standing. It's a beautiful story based on true events …

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Take The Next Step -Even If You Don’t See It

You don't always have to see the next step to know that it's there -sometimes all you need is some faith that the staircase is complete. If you read last month's blogs, you know I'm not necessarily talking about 12 steps -but if the shoe fits, lace it up! As usual, it's typically easier said …

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Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

After a five-minute sample read with this book, you will clearly understand why it's so captivating from the very first line until the final word. To say that I love this book might be an understatement. I am not sure what I expected, because honestly, I have read (and loved) more than a few books …

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