Relearn And Refresh; Repeat As Needed

Life is nothing if not a constant learning process and to that end, some things get forgotten and fall by the wayside. So this post is going to be a quick refresher of things that sometimes get overlooked when we start to navigate our way through life.

  • no explanations
  • no excuses
  • give yourself a break
  • not everyone has your best interest at heart

Don't waste any more of your time explaining yourself

adult beautiful brunette confidence

It sounds simple but suddenly people are being pushy and trying to get you to do things you wouldn't normally do, and don't want to do. Or even questioning the motives and decisions behind the things you have already done.

You don't owe anyone an explanation, especially for doing something that makes you happy -and adversely, not doing something because it would cause you unrest.

You can either have results or excuses; not both

Maybe no one has ever said it in those terms, there are many other ways to phrase this,

  • put your money where your mouth is
  • actions speak louder than words
  • if it's important you will find a way, if it isn't you will find an excuse.

These are all derivatives of, 'just do it' -no that's not a plug for Nike- it's the truth.

No one has a magic pill for anything in life, not for:

  • weight loss
  • sobriety
  • relationships
  • finances

but my belief is if you truly want it; there is nothing you won't do to ensure it's fruition. Stop making excuses; stop giving excuses.

Cut yourself some slack

adult black and white break chairs

Admit it, you are pretty hard on yourself most days and are probably your biggest critic, am I right?

Don't forget to cut yourself a little slack.

Before you cut yourself down anymore, first think whether you would say what you are about to say to your best friend. If you wouldn't, don't feed it to yourself. Sometimes, we get so picking apart the flaws we see, we forget to actually be kind to yourself. Start treating yourself like a friend.

Not everyone has your best interest at heart

In fact, very few people have your best interest at heart. Most people are more concerned about themselves than anything you are doing, or how you are affected. In recovery, especially since we learn that some of the people in our circle aren't even really our friends.

woman wearing brown floral print coat and pants sitting on car

I'll put it this way. Not everyone traveling with you is riding for you; run out of gas and see who helps push.

Early in my sobriety a, lost a lot of people in my life that I thought would always be there; almost all of them being people who wanted to keep drinking without feeling guilty. Guilty about what is different for everyone;

  • some people were ashamed of their own drinking
  • some people felt bad that I couldn't drink anymore
  • almost everyone wanted to keep drinking and didn't know where that left they just stopped trying.

This isn't a woe is me sob-story, but just an example of how even when doctors were telling me I might die, people I had known since birth were still putting their interests (not even their best interests, but interests just the same) first.

All of these feed into a similar mindset, cut yourself some slack, don't make excuses, no need to explain yourself, keep your best interest at heart and only you know what those are.

Be firm in who you are and don't let the world push you around. You have done so much learning and retraining that you have really come a long way on this journey already; don't let the world bully you back into submission.

"You are the universe, expressing itself in human form." -Eckhart Tolle


  1. This post really gets down to, what seems to be, the nitty gritty of the road to recovery. I think much of what you said hits the nail on the head, but the part about people mostly being out for their own best interests, I feel like perhaps you did less explaining than needed in that area. Yes of course you lost some friends, but I think it is hard to believe that the majority of them were only looking out for themselves. I mean at least a decent part had to have your best interests at heart, even though sometimes the action itself might be wrong, sometimes the intention is still good. I just wanted to add that tidbit because I feel as though some of this post seems a little harsh to be honest. Though still well written and well intended.

  2. *clapping hands* Well said my love. My husband has been clean and sober 13 years. He lost a lot of ‘friends’ in the beginning of his sobriety.
    I truly enjoy your writings ❤️❤️

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