650 days sober!
I suppose I should start by saying, whether it's your first day, or thousandth (yes, you know who you are), it's not a moment too soon!
This isn't an easy journey and I give so much respect to everyone who is struggling to break free from addiction, no matter where you are on your path!
Take a second to pat yourself on the back!
My own path has been one of the most rewarding, and altogether terrifying experiences of my life. It has been worth every single second and I would never trade it for the world, but I won't even lie to you it gets downright scary at times.
Though, most people don't seem to focus on fear.
Once you have been sober for a substantial amount of time, people begin to look at you slightly differently. I'm not sure exactly what that amount of time is, but you will know because people will start asking, 'was it difficult to get sober?'
That's (I suppose) when you know you are in fact wearing the scarlet embroidered Tt insignia. The teetotaler, Tt.
No one seems worried about how vulnerable you get, or how messy things fall apart, but they want to know if there is a shortcut, or if they are in for the long haul.
By the way to those of you wondering, the answer is;
"YES, IT IS FREAKING BRUTAL!"
However, when I really look back and think about it, there were only a handful of instances where I (only very lightly and briefly) considered drinking. Really, it was more to consider how I could so easily ruin what the sobriety I have worked so hard and steadily for. Which is why it's easy and very quickly dismissed.
Seriously though, there were only a few times;
- the first party where others were drinking
- first face to face encounter with alcohol alone
- almost losing my father due to health issues
- losing my mother suddenly and unexpectedly
Other than these instances, which were few and far between, the last 650 days have been an amazing ride. Which is why I say, 'not a moment too soon,' because fielding these while intoxicated would have not only sent me off the deep end but sunken my ship entirely, dragging me down with it.
Not a moment too soon
I have so much peace of mind knowing that my mom and I got to form a better relationship before she passed; simply because of my sobriety.
I take comfort in having helped my father (and my mother) during his difficult health issues; something I couldn't have done drunk.
I take pride in knowing that in the wake of losing my mother, a bottle of vodka sat in the same room as me, sealed and untouched since it was set down by the well-wishers visiting my father.
I have such a sense of accomplishment that I can go to a party and proudly be the one who isn't drinking, not the shameless blackout drunk.
I should have gotten sober sooner, but I don't beat myself up for that most days. I have a good sense of where I am now and I know undoubtedly that everything happened in the timing it was supposed to, and not a moment too soon.
If I didn't start at day one, then I surely couldn't have a day 650.
You can do this too!
-and I have no doubt that your day one, day 50, day 650 or day 1000 will come to, and not a moment too soon!