Not every single day of your life is going to be a good day, despite your best efforts; and that's ok. There can be, however, good in every single day if you really look hard enough.
When you really take a look at your life so far, how many entirely horrible days can you name? I am talking about the days where absolutely nothing goes right and your life changes all in the same day; how many of those have you had?
Maybe there are enough bad days to count on one or two hands, but I'm sure you couldn't say it was even close to half! One bad day here and there isn't like having a lifetime misery with good days sprinkled in: and in recovery, you might find these bad days occur less and less with time.
Having a day that is less than ideal happens, even despite our best efforts. The only thing we can do is change our approach to them, and keep going.
One thing that always helps me, is trying to remember that everything is temporary; the good and the bad. They both come to pass with time, so embrace the good when it comes, even if it's just in tiny cracks throughout an otherwise disastrous day.
There are numerous ways to navigate the terrible days when you feel like you need to relapse to cope, ways that don't involve succumbing to your addiction.
Just before my mom passed away, one of the last Christmas presents she gave me, was a bracelet with three words engraved, repeatedly, on the outer band: 'Find the good'. I have to believe that she meant those words for me, that I need to find the good in every day in order to honor my mom. Anyone who knew her would agree to that!
I know it gets hard, but there is a lot of love and goodness here on the sober side!